Volleyball Mom Thoughts - Benched

 This is Tiara's 2nd year in club volleyball.

Last game, she was in only for 5 minutes during the whole match (2 sets) and our team lost.

I was not too happy when she did not get to play. I think Tiara is a decent player, during the 5 minutes she was in the game, she did well - she gave solid passes and displayed good sportsmanship with the team. 
I have also been supplementing Tiara with private sessions so that she is improving in her skills (serving, setting, passing) despite her smaller stature.

It made me begin spiraling thinking of next year's club season - what can I do better as a parent in helping choose a team for Tiara so that she get more on the court time. I believe that court time is valuable as it is where the experience of real game is.

However, as I prayed and talked with few people, I realized that in every circumstances - there is a beautiful lesson we can learn. Tiara can learn real life lessons from being in a bench.
She might do all the right thing and still being benched - can help her with humility and grit, developing perseverance.
Not only her- but me as her mom as well - I can be better supporter for her. Being there when outcomes are not as what we hoped for.

I am sure this will just make both her and I stronger later - when promotions were handed to her colleague instead of her, when she was not selected on better projects/team.

We still trust that God is always in control as we submit to Him. 

Trust in the Lord with all your heart
    and lean not on your own understanding;
6 in all your ways submit to him,
    and he will make your paths straight.
Proverbs 3:5-6 

Sanctity of Life

 Pro-life and pro-choice has in debate for years, especially during political election year like now, 2024.
I am reminded back in my college year at Seattle University where I have to take Ethics class.
One of the question was to defend or argue against abortion. As I was trying to compose my thoughts, which I was not good at to begin with, I peeked into my classmate who goes to church with me.
She wrote "I agree with Roe vs Wade and a female's right for an abortion". What she wrote still struck me to today as I am pondering back then until now:

 "How can a Christian be ok with abortion?"

Growing up in Indonesia, I was never challenged to think critically - especially for ethic/political standards as my parents said that what we think don't matter. So, why waste our time and effort learning/thinking about it. But, now, being in USA for 20 years and since Roe vs Wade was overturned last year, I been thinking more about this issue.

I believe in the Sanctity of Life based on the Bible:

"For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well." Psalm 139:1-4 

Hearing so many couples around me struggling to have a child, I believe that it is God who gives and takes away. As Christians, we have to believe that our God is a Transformative and Redemptive God! Every single story of how a mom conceive a child, whether within her own will or not, God can turn that story around (Romans 8:28)

Sin started because of Eve's choice to eat the fruit of the tree.

As Christians, our Biblical standard should be unwavering for the Sanctity of Life based on His words. 

Favor

 Last Monday morning, I called a friend who I haven't talked for months, Tina, whether she want to walk around the park since my schedule allows.

She told me that she has plan that morning. I asked her what she is doing and she said that she is trying to make appointment for Nexus interview.

I told her that I have been trying for months to make the appointment as well and she told me that the slots open on the 1st and 3rd Mondays of the month.

I immediately opened my laptop trying to make the appointment as well. The government site keeps on crashing. I called Jack so that he can make appointment for himself as well.

Long story short - we, all 3 of us, Jack, Tiara and me were able to get appointment at same day in February 2025.

This is a favor. Totally God's blessings.

"The LORD directs the steps of the godly. He delights in every detail of their lives."
Psalm 37:23 NLT

This sickness will not end in death

God's words always so encouraging.
What I heard from Tuesday prayer meeting was "When he heard this, Jesus said, “This sickness will not end in death. No, it is for God’s glory so that God’s Son may be glorified through it.” John 1:14 NIV
Whatever goes the next 10 weeks - I know that He has me at the palms of His Hands.

Atypical Urine Cytology

 On 01-17-24 I had my 3 months cystoscopy for bladder check. There is a tiny red spot that was a bit concerning. The urine cytology came back yesterday with "Atypical Urothelial Cells" with increased nuclear to cytoplasmic ratios. This is not the "Negative for high grade carcinoma" that I was hoping for.

I am nervous and worried. Waiting currently waiting for Dr's call. I was prepared with "Desert Song by Hillsong Worship":
And this is my prayer in the battle
When triumph is still on its way
I am a conqueror and co-heir with Christ
So firm on His promise I'll stand
I will bring praise, I will bring praise
No weapon formed against me shall remain
I will rejoice, I will declare
God is my victory and He is here
All of my life in every season
You are still God
I have a reason to sing
I have a reason to worship

Also claiming Exodus 15:36 “If you listen carefully to the Lord your God and do what is right in his eyes, if you pay attention to his commands and keep all his decrees, I will not bring on you any of the diseases I brought on the Egyptians, for I am the Lord, who heals you.”

Jack's workplace- Convoy Trucking News

On Nov 18th, Wednesday morning, Jack texted me and said, "Please pray for Convoy". Then an hour after that he said, "I'm going home" and he sent me an article: Digital Freight Broker Convoy Cancels Loads, Preps For Major Announcement (cdllife.com)

Everyone in the company was sent home.  No one knows what happened. On Thursday morning at 8am, there was an all-hands meeting, and the CEO announced that there is no more Convoy Trucking. By mid-day, all employees received termination letters. 

My mind was spinning and wondering why God would allow us to go through this when we are following His prompting. Did we hear it wrong? Jack left his nicely paid, well-structured, great work-life-balance job at HBO because God told him to move away from entertainment industry and we feel led to move to Convoy despite a chunk of his compensation were stocks that now worth $0.

God reminded me the story of Joseph of how honest Joseph was, yet, multiple occasions he was tricked by his own brothers, schemed by Potifar's wife, forgotten by the cup-bearer after he interpreted the dream. But, God has never forgotten Joseph. 

We trusted God and on Friday- there were a "hush-hush" that Convoy might be purchased by Flexport and Jack is part of the 50-70 employees that will be moving on to Flexport. 

Praise God by November 1st, Jack received an offer from Flexport, so our family is not in bind with money. I am thankful that our God is trustworthy (even if He does not provide job right away, we still praise Him)

So now Jack will be joining Flexport team December 1st, 2023. Next Friday. Praying for Jack to have good season at Flexport. 

God is a sun and shield

 Psalm 84:11 says, "For the Lord God is a sun and shield; the Lord bestows favor and honor; no good thing does he withhold from those whose walk is blameless."

The portrayal of God as the Sun speaks to my heart lately.
He is powerful, just like the heat of the Sun that burns and purifies./
He is Light. He shines through the darkness

Our God works in power (Sun) and in care (shield). He is trustworthy to save and protect us in times of trouble.