Neobladder Thoughts

Since my UTI symptoms were bad, in my opinion.
I had to pee every 10-15 minutes, woke up multiple times at night...

I had a thought "I probably should just cancel the immunotheraphy and just ask for radical cystectomy - getting a neobladder"

There is a gentle voice that whispers to me "What I made is better than what men made"

It brought me to tears. Yes, God. I trust that what You made is better.

Help me to get better.

I can't, only You can.

Praying I will be able to get 3rd immunotherapy this Friday without much side effects.

2nd BCG Treatment

 I had 2nd BCG Treatment last Friday 9/9/22- I had UTI like symptoms after the instillation - I pee every 15-20 minutes, even at night - I pee every 1-2 hours (I sleep at 10pm, would wake up at 12, 2am - can't go back to sleep until 3:30, wake up again at 4:30, 5:30 and 6:30).

I couldn't get to my doctor to ask him for more information. I called and left mychart messages.

Finally, praise God, today he called me back and he is prescribing antibiotics as looks like I am exhibiting UTI symptoms.

If this is just the side effects of the BCG treatments- I pray that God uses it to kill all the cancer!

One of the encouragement I have during this time is the song "We need a miracle" by Charity Gayle. 

Let my faith be today
What it will be tomorrow
When I've seen the victory
You already see

I cannot wait to fast forward 5 months from now (after I finished 9 set of BCG) and to hear that I have 
"no evidence of diseases" NED.

Praise to God

 We sing "There is a King" from Elevation Worship at church this morning.
When I sing the lyrics below, I feel that God is reminding me to use the 2 hours period while waiting for the BCG treatment to settle in my bladder with giving God the praises.
"Where there is praise, He will inhabit
And there will be grace and mercy all around"

God will walk and be with me when I give Him the praises that He deserves. He will pour out His grace and mercy.

We also prayed for miracle today. God will lavishly pour out His love on us.
"Why wouldn't God help you? You are awesome" God's hands are never too short to help us.

BCG Treatments in a week

 I will start BCG immunotherapies in a week from now!
I am excited and nervous at the same time. 

Please continue to pray that I will have minimal side effects (dr said we want side effects to know that the immune system/body is responding) and that this treatment will be successful

https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/treatments/17908-bacillus-calmette-guerin-bcg-treatment

I will have this treatment every Fridays for 6 weeks:

9/2; 9/9, 9/16, 9/23 and 9/30 and 10/11 (the final one is on Tuesday :))

Then, on November 21st, I will have the visit with the urologist oncologist after all the BCG treatments.

How I long for Christmas miracle of NED "No Evidence of Diseases"

“No eye has seen, no ear has heard, and no mind has imagined, what God has prepared, for those who love Him" 1 Corinthians 2:9 NLT

God is my Champion

 I have a strong impression last week of how I do not fit into the bladder cancer patient statistic/profile.
Bladder cancer is 90% above 55 years of age; 75% male and the major cause is smoking. (https://www.cancer.net/cancer-types/bladder-cancer/statistics)

I do not smoke and not a second hand smoker - my parents and Jack, my husband, he doesn't smoke.

Bladder cancer's 5-year recurrence rates of approximately 65% in patients with non-invasive or in situ tumors.

I feel that God is telling me, while I do not fit the bladder cancer patients' profile, my journey of healing will also not fit the recurrence rate.

God will heal me and I will have 0 recurrence. God will bless the BCG immunotherapies that will start on 09/02 to heal me.

"You are my champion, Giants fall when You stand, Undefeated Every battle You've won" 
This song by Bethel Music is my Battle song! God will not fail.

Quiet Time

 I kept on thinking of why my UTI symptoms only exist when I am on vacation. A reason is that I am more stressful without my knowing? I don't know.

But, this morning - I came to realization that it might because I finally have time for myself. Finally, I can listen to my body. Normally, day to day, I am busy preparing stuffs for my early riser, Tiara. My days starts at 6:00am preparing my lunch, Tiara's lunch and breakfast as well as her after school stuffs. After work, I would pick up Tiara, takes her to her multiple activities....then dinner and "me" time of watching my TV show, study, my fun thing, etc. 

But, all of them are "do" "do" "do". Even my quiet time with the Lord mostly filled with me reading and journaling vs meditating/prayers/"quiet" time.

I barely have quiet time. I thank God for this season that now I have enough quiet time where I can just meditate on God's words. 

I used to not being able to wrap my head arounds "meditating God's law day and night" as I was like "how" - my minds are so occupied with 10,000 other things. Now, I know. I crave God's words - day and night because that's where I draw my strength and hope. That's what I need- like my food and snacks.

"Blessed is the man, who walks not in the counsel of the wicked, nor stands in the way of sinners,
nor sits in the seat of scoffers; but his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on his law he meditates day and night." Psalm 1:1-2

New skill Acquired!

 One of new skill that I acquired last week was:
taking catheter out!

I was nervous doing it myself, but I did it! 

"Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? As it is written, “For your sake we are being killed all the day long; we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered.” No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 8:35-39