Psalm 60:11

 Psalm 60:11 "Give us aid against the enemy, for human help is worthless."

Truly, only God in His sovereignty saves and heals.

I seek acupuncture help couple weeks back and she looked at my tongue and said "your body is cold - what do you eat?" I said "a lot of vegetables, salad and juice" She said "no more raw food and juice" 
I was torn coming out of the appointment. Western and Eastern medicine seems to contradict each other, and I do not know what is good.

This incident actually reminds me that God is our only source of Hope and Strength.

I realized that the prayers during our meal times matter. I used to pray quickly just to thank God for the food. Now, I realized, what a blessing it was to be able to eat and not worry whether it will "feed" my cancer. Praying that God will bless each meals to bring healthy cells and kill those cancer cells.

Please continue to pray for Godly wisdom on Doctor Dash that will consult and check on me in Nov and December. 

I need You, God, come to my rescue.

First Series of 6 BCG Immunotherapies Done

 Last Thursday the 27th, I got my #6 instillations of BCG Immunotherapy, which is the last one for this series. I was hit with much fatigue few days before the instillations and just felt very heavy the day off.

While praise God, there is no new side effect symptoms, my emotions are all over the place.

There is a high/extreme gladness that I get 3 months break before perhaps the next maintenance series.

There is anxiety of the treatment result - which I will find out in cystoscopy on December 12th.

I am also scared of the next BCG series and the side effects, alongside with some pains that I currently have whether it is another health issues/cancer in other parts of my bodies.

But, I speak the name of Jesus over fear and all anxiety. There is power in the Name of Jesus. The Name that Heals (Jehovah Rapha). The Name that holds my victory and future.

These 6 BCG Treatments were not easy for me. There were times that my urethra hurts so much that I need to massage it all the time and put heating pads on it. Most days I wear adult diapers as I have urinary urgency and unpredictable frequency due to the spasms. 

Few things that I am thankful of what God is teaching me throughout this situation:

- Empathy: I used to not be able to relate with others who is in pain/depression as I never experienced it, but now, I can cry with them, pray for them and learn my best to support/help them in their situations.

- Patience: I learn to be patient as I now realize that many people have their own struggles that I might not be able to see. 

- The hunger for God's words: I pray and meditate on God's words as much as I can as I need Them. I need the Words to strengthen me, to get through the tough times, to soak in His presence.

- The power of God's people's prayers: Many friends have prayed and believing that God healed me. One of the lady in my prayer group shared that in the Bible, the quadriplegic was healed because his 4 friends brought him to Jesus. I have many friends who knock on the door of Heaven for my healing and believing alongside me that Jesus has the power to heal me.

- Thankful: While many times, I wish that God will take the pain away, I am thankful that I have this bonus time - I get to spend time with family and friends. I get to finish treatments while it was in nice weather. Now, I get to be home, sit with my warm water and enjoy the colorful Fall trees.

"I will praise you, Lord, among the nations; I will sing of you among the peoples. For great is Your love, reaching to the heavens; Your faithfulness reaches to the skies. Be exalted, O God, above the heavens; let Your glory be over all the earth." Psalm 57: 9-11

Living in Bonus Time

 One of the hopeful night last weekend was also a zoom meeting among cancer patients and survivors hosted by the Charisma Church. 

The main speaker was Dr. Alec Hill - an SPU professor, cancer survivors and authors of multiple books- one of the book is "Living in Bonus Time" (https://www.amazon.com/Living-Bonus-Time-Surviving-Finding/dp/0830845941)

There were 6 of us in the zoom meetings and 4 of the people were cancer survivors- only me and another person, Jeffrey, were still in this cancer fighting journey.

It was very encouraging to see these cancer survivors to serve the Lord and living normally after their battle with cancer.

There is light at the end of the tunnel.

To God be the Glory.