On Monday, 12/12/22 I had cystoscopy to check whether the BCG Immunotherapies have killed all the cancer cells in me.
We saw some red patches and hoping it was just inflammation.
The doctor happened to have cancellation for surgery the next day, Tuesday the 12/13/22 - so I went in for another TURBT (biopsy surgery)
Upon TURBT, I think doctor found more patches with the blue light and suspected that the cancer is still there.
Yesterday, 12/15/22, I finally received the pathology that confirmed, indeed the high grade cancer is still there - less invasive than the original (Ta stage)
I was very discouraged, disappointed and sad. I wanted to just crawl in the bed, hide under the blanket and do nothing as I am not looking forward to the 6 series of immunotherapy that I will need to go through again in January/February.
I also did not want to go to my prayer meeting yesterday- but I went anyways. Thank God that I went. During the worship - God reminded me of this Desert Song by Hillsong (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HUISd7LSxAQ)
All of my life in every seasonYou are still GodI have a reason to singI have a reason to worship
I did not experience the miracle that I anticipated- but God is still God that loves me, cares for me, the Immanuel - I have a reason to praise, to sing and to worship Him. He deserves it all.
My biggest worry was that I was not able to stand another 6 immunotheraphies - but this morning, God reminded me Psalm 29:11 "The LORD will give strength unto his people; The LORD will bless his people with peace."
He will sustain me and uphold me as I go through the fiery trials. I pray that just as Daniel, Sadrakh, Mesakh and Abednego did not burn as God's angels with them - I will also experience His miraculous power and peace as I go through the next immunotheraphies.
