Home

I think one of the undescribable feeling I have since I lost my parents, I feel like I lost my "home".
It can possibly be also because I just become a stay at home mom so I feel that I really lose my "comfort zone"
When I decided to stay at home with Tiara, In the back of my mind, I always thought that if anything happens to Jack, or anything bad happens to our marriage, I can still go back to Indo and my parents will support me until I can be on my own.

Now, I feel like I enter this new journey of staying at home motherhood alone. jumping both feet in. I am so scared of drowning. No swimming ring.

I know that I should make my marriage, my current family as my "home", but I have not feel that way. I am not sure whether I am just "numb" for now or I am not that close with Jack......Sometimes I feel that I know Jack only for the past 5 years and for some reason, sometimes I do not feel that I am a top priority in his life. Versus my parents know me for 31 years, and I know that I am my mom's priority.

So, I don't know. I am just scribbling.

I want a "home". I pray that Jesus will be in my heart so that I feel at home.
I guess, I do not feel that close to Jesus either, so I feel a bit empty.

Please pray for me and I am praying as well.

"How blessed is the one whom You choose and bring near to You To dwell in Your courts We will be satisfied with the goodness of Your house, Your holy temple." Psalm 64:5

"The LORD is near to all who call upon Him, To all who call upon Him in truth." Psalm 145:18