Trusting God

 Yesterday, June 14th, I received scary news from Urologist.

I have been having UTI like symptoms since last May 2021 that come and gone. It mostly come when I am on vacation. The urine culture has been showing no infection despite that I am having UTI like symptoms: burning when urinating, frequency in urination (like every hour at night despite I have not been drinking and no pee came out), as well as the inability to hold when I need to go.

There are multiple factors that I believe might contribute to this:
1) I was on a strict dieting and lost 30lbs back in April/May 2021.
2) I received my J&J vaccine April 15th, 2021.
3) Stress? since the UTI symptoms only seem to appear when I am on vacation. Although, I don't think I am stressful going on vacation.
4) Lack of water from afraid of peeing much in the airplane.

So, because of all of this, the urologist did a cystocopy.

The cystocopy reveals there are patchy areas in the bladder wall that look abnormal- so my urologist want biopsies done. She also mentioned that there is a mass in my bladder. My urologist was optimistic that it does not look like bladder cancer but we need biopsy to be sure.

Part of the cystcopy - she sent my urine sample to pathology and that result wasn't optimistic. It shows suspicious malignancy. Hence, this even confirm that biopsy is needed.

Prayer meeting from Westgate on June 14th said "In Jesus name, Diseases be healed" and I believe in that. Our God is a healer. He created all things good. Anything that happens, he can turn ALL things for good to those who are called according to His purposes (Romans 8:28)

Continuing to write this blog today, June 29th, 2022

I had my bladder surgery yesterday. Praise God that it went well without any complication. I was taken into the room at 1:00, 1:30 they put in the blue markers to help the surgeon on my tumor area so that he can take samples well. We had to wait for an hour to get the blue light to settle in before the surgery can begin. It was my first (and hopefully LAST) being put fully under (general anasthesia). The anesthesiologist put some relaxing drip into my IV and I don't even remember that she gave me the oxygen mask. I woke up at 4:20pm in my recovery room as if I just woken up from a nap. 

Now, we just praying that the biopsy result will came out as clean/benign.

Umur panjang di tangan Tuhan ( Long life is in God's hands)

I feel that God is speaking to me quite loudly through this emotionally draining news.
For a while I always said to my friends "I want to live long enough only to help Tiara with her kids in toddlerhood years, so like until 70?!" (I guess this is also resulted from my parents' airline accidents that I think 70 years old is perfect age to pass away before their fragility/old age starts to take a toll)

But, this time, I feel that  God said "I am in control. You don't know how long you will live. You might not even make it to Tiara's High school graduation." God reminds me to be thankful of each day- that long live is a blessing. 

He still has His purposes in my life on earth.