This sickness will not end in death

God's words always so encouraging.
What I heard from Tuesday prayer meeting was "When he heard this, Jesus said, “This sickness will not end in death. No, it is for God’s glory so that God’s Son may be glorified through it.” John 1:14 NIV
Whatever goes the next 10 weeks - I know that He has me at the palms of His Hands.

Atypical Urine Cytology

 On 01-17-24 I had my 3 months cystoscopy for bladder check. There is a tiny red spot that was a bit concerning. The urine cytology came back yesterday with "Atypical Urothelial Cells" with increased nuclear to cytoplasmic ratios. This is not the "Negative for high grade carcinoma" that I was hoping for.

I am nervous and worried. Waiting currently waiting for Dr's call. I was prepared with "Desert Song by Hillsong Worship":
And this is my prayer in the battle
When triumph is still on its way
I am a conqueror and co-heir with Christ
So firm on His promise I'll stand
I will bring praise, I will bring praise
No weapon formed against me shall remain
I will rejoice, I will declare
God is my victory and He is here
All of my life in every season
You are still God
I have a reason to sing
I have a reason to worship

Also claiming Exodus 15:36 “If you listen carefully to the Lord your God and do what is right in his eyes, if you pay attention to his commands and keep all his decrees, I will not bring on you any of the diseases I brought on the Egyptians, for I am the Lord, who heals you.”

Jack's workplace- Convoy Trucking News

On Nov 18th, Wednesday morning, Jack texted me and said, "Please pray for Convoy". Then an hour after that he said, "I'm going home" and he sent me an article: Digital Freight Broker Convoy Cancels Loads, Preps For Major Announcement (cdllife.com)

Everyone in the company was sent home.  No one knows what happened. On Thursday morning at 8am, there was an all-hands meeting, and the CEO announced that there is no more Convoy Trucking. By mid-day, all employees received termination letters. 

My mind was spinning and wondering why God would allow us to go through this when we are following His prompting. Did we hear it wrong? Jack left his nicely paid, well-structured, great work-life-balance job at HBO because God told him to move away from entertainment industry and we feel led to move to Convoy despite a chunk of his compensation were stocks that now worth $0.

God reminded me the story of Joseph of how honest Joseph was, yet, multiple occasions he was tricked by his own brothers, schemed by Potifar's wife, forgotten by the cup-bearer after he interpreted the dream. But, God has never forgotten Joseph. 

We trusted God and on Friday- there were a "hush-hush" that Convoy might be purchased by Flexport and Jack is part of the 50-70 employees that will be moving on to Flexport. 

Praise God by November 1st, Jack received an offer from Flexport, so our family is not in bind with money. I am thankful that our God is trustworthy (even if He does not provide job right away, we still praise Him)

So now Jack will be joining Flexport team December 1st, 2023. Next Friday. Praying for Jack to have good season at Flexport. 

God is a sun and shield

 Psalm 84:11 says, "For the Lord God is a sun and shield; the Lord bestows favor and honor; no good thing does he withhold from those whose walk is blameless."

The portrayal of God as the Sun speaks to my heart lately.
He is powerful, just like the heat of the Sun that burns and purifies./
He is Light. He shines through the darkness

Our God works in power (Sun) and in care (shield). He is trustworthy to save and protect us in times of trouble.

"I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!”

 Mark 9:24 "I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!” considered as one of the most honest prayer.

I will have my cystoscopy tomorrow to check whether there is any cancer recurrence. I am still experiencing some symptoms of frequent urination, urine retention. I am worried that there will be recurrence since the recurrence for bladder cancer is considered high. But, I am trusting the blood of Jesus and His name.

Today we sang "Believe For It" by Cece Winans at church and this song encouraged me much.

We believe that Jesus' name has power. Every promises He has is Yes and Amen.

Jesus is able to:1) Bring salvation to my brother- God has Henry's name in the book of life. 2) Restore broken relationship - I desire to have good relationship with my mother in law. 3) Healing miracle - cancer will never return to my body - not in my bladder and nowhere.

"You said "It is Done", and I believe it"

Love Letters and Weapon for War

 This week, I just realized that the Bible is not only full of God's love letters and His wonderful promises to me but it is also the mighty weapon for war. 

For the longest time, When I pray - I love to claim God's wonderful promises and wonder on His loving thoughts towards me. But, now, I feel that it is the time to wage a war with the world.

We do not belong to this world and things of this world will continue to go against God's Words. We need to start waging war in our prayers asking God to command His Angels according to His promises.

"For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places." Ephesians 6:12 NLT

"We destroy every proud obstacle that keeps people from knowing God. We capture their rebellious thoughts and teach them to obey Christ." 2 Cor 10:5 NLT

I would like to encourage everyone to take offensive positions in our prayers. We need to take the Swords (the Bible) for battle against our own thoughts/sin and also for battle on behalf of others/our country/the world.

Only our God, Jesus Christ, is Mighty to Save! He is our Redeemer!

I have Testimonies

 This week has been a very rough week since I constantly have pink colored pee and some clots.
It started last week, right after our Vancouver vacation. I caught a cold and my suspicion is that the cough/sneeze might have strained my bladder and caused it to tear tiny bit since my urologist said my bladder is very fragile and irritated.

I had ER visits on Friday since I had clots and were not able to urinate. Thankfully, as I stepped into the ER lobby, I passed the clots in the toilet. So, I had saline IVed in, then as soon as my pee is clearer, I got discharged.

On Sunday night around 11pm, the episode of peeing blood and clotting resumes. I checked myself into the ER around 3am and got irrigated at 5am, making it home in time when Tiara wakes up at 6:30am.

We went to Tuesday prayer meeting at Westgate and met few people, one common thing I heard from people is that "Now you can say "I have a testimony"" 

I need to praise God for:
1) His blessings that we got to enjoy Vancouver vacation without this worry.
2) Multiple ER visits that I had to wait for only 15-30 minutes - I was terrified that I had to wait 2-3 hours like my last August 2022 visit (Jack prayed for compassionate staffs and for me to be seen right away)
3) His faithfulness! Our God is faithful - He is walking with us!

Please continue to pray for peace as I navigate this week. I am still peeing pink here and there and passing small clots time to time. Urologist said this is normal for about a month until the bladder heals. I just want a good night sleep that I don't have to worry to drink enough and pee often for flushing.