"For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline." 2 Timothy 1:7

When to speak the truth?

: If the truth hurts other's feelings, should you say it?:
: If the truth is not edifying, should you say it?:
: If the truth is irrelevant, should you say it?:

: When do you have to say the truth?:

at all times?

I remember a quote from "Into the Wild", "rather than love, than money, than faith, than fame, than fairness... give me truth. "
Even the Bible said...... "Speak the truth in love" Eph 4:25

But, what if the truth is emotionally driven?
What if the truth is not absolute? What if you can change the truth?
Should you change it first?

TRUTH: what is it? how many kinds are there?

The shadow of Your wings

I love this new TV series "Fairly Legal"
in this particular episode I watched this morning...
there is a scene where a daughter, Kate Reed, misses her deceased father.
She said "When Teddy (her dad) was here, it feels like I fit in every puzzle"
a judge who listened to her statement said "That man (Teddy) knows to put things together"

I sometimes miss my dad in Indo, too. I remembered when I was a kid, I can always run to him with any problems that I had and he was always able to rescue me, to provide me a way out, to give me the view of the big picture.
Now, being a grown-up, I feel I'm quite alone. My father is not as powerful as he was before and I feel that I need to face my own dilemmas alone...

However, somehow, a tiny whisper slip through my ear "You can always hide under the shadow of My wings"

I said in my heart, "That's right."

I am reminded that God has this HUGE wings (He is always portrayed as an eagle- do you ever know how big the eagle's wings are?Adult eagles have a wing span of about 7 feet, yet they only weigh 12 pounds on average!)
Whenever I feel sad, whenever I want to run away from things, He is there for me.
He can rescue me, I am safe under His wings.

My God -my Heavenly Father, knows how to put things together- His promises in Romans 8:28 said, "in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to His purpose. "

How precious is your unfailing love, O God! All humanity finds shelter in the shadow of Your wings. ~Psalm 36:7

Panda. love.

Last week, Jim & LL gave Pez cute plush to Selina.
and......my 17 years old boyfriend glanced avidly.
He said "I want that. I want that. in Panda"
I asked "How old are you?"
He said "seventeen"

"Once a boy. Always a boy." I thought.
However, I got it for him :P

He Smiled.
I satisfied =)

[ Love 101 ]

My friend posted in her facebook status: "True love isn't a struggle. It's effortless. "

My thought: "Is it?"

I keep on thinking...."does the action of love come naturally for everyone? or it needs to be learned or taught?"

I believe that love comes from within- God puts love in our heart...however, as we grow up, circumstances weather those love seeds. For some, it might be easier to show love, appreciation, and kindness, but not for some others. One's expectations of love also develops throughout his/her lives.

I agree that you can train your mind to focus on love and appreciation so that it becomes more spontaneous.

Let's learn to love more :)

http://alwayswellwithin.com/2011/01/29/5-lessons-learned-from-30-days-of-love-and-appreciation/

Kindness in words creates confidence. Kindness in thinking creates profoundness. Kindness in giving creates love. ~Lao Tzu

::Is infatuation a MUST? ::

I define infatuation as a stage where two people fall in love with each other in which they live in their own world- somewhat. They are heavily intoxicated in the love potion that they disregard all logical arguments........

Some articles say.... "Infatuation is Necessary. There is actually a very good reason to have the infatuation stage of love. This creates a strong foundation of love for the relationship."

On the other hand, based on this chart, http://www.diffen.com/difference/Infatuation_vs_Love
isn't love is more wonderful?
I don't think the Bible talks about infatuation....but the Bible does put high emphasis in love- God's love, love between a husband and wife, and love to brothers and sisters.

We see people fall in love and fall out of love. We glorified the freedom to choose so much that we tends to follow emotions rather than logical- fresh thinking.
Isn't it interesting that America has way higher rate in divorce rather than India or Pakistan where arranged marriage is customary?

I think since we were a kid, through the comic books, through magazines' stories, through Hollywood movies, we glorified this "infatuation" stage as where the girls got pampered- spoiled, "much loved", girls long for this feeling- especially if one is daddy's little girl, also- or someone that never feel daddy's love?

As many of us know, this infatuation stage will DEFINITELY wear off at some point of time. Is infatuation stage a must before you decide on marrying someone?
or..........it will come later?

Is this Biblical?

Should we feed our emotion rather than our logic?
Such as if we answer "yes" to all of these questions, then you should settle?

Questions for women:

1. Do you want to help him and join his course of life (Gen. 2:18; 1 Cor. 11:9)?
2. Is he tough enough to remain strong in tough times (2 Tim. 2:3)?
3. Will he take responsibility for you and your children (1 Cor. 11:3)?
4. Is he considerate and gentle with you (1 Peter 3:7)?
5. Will he be a good father (Ps. 127:3-5; Eph. 6:4)?
6. Is he a one woman man (1 Tim. 3:2)?
7. How valuable are you to him?
8. Do you want your sons to be like him and your daughters to marry someone like him?

Questions for men:

1. Are you overlooking good women (e.g. single moms, shy, divorcees)?
2. Are you honoring, God, her, her family, her friends, etc.?
3. Is she modest (1 Tim. 2:9)?
4. Will she follow your leadership?
5. Does she have noble character (Prov. 31)?
6. Can you provide for the lifestyle she expects (1 Tim. 5:8)?
7. Is she like the worst women in Proverbs (e.g. nag, loud, quarreling, unfaithful)?
8. Do you want your daughters to be like her and your sons to marry someone like her?

Resources:
http://fulltiltmarriage.com/blog/2008/02/05/love-or-infatuation-how-to-know/
http://www.aish.com/d/w/90070802.html
http://www.diffen.com/difference/Infatuation_vs_Love
http://blog.marshillchurch.org/2008/02/20/dating/

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.

:To every thing there is a season:

"To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven" Ecc 3:1

In this post I'm just trying to discern stages of relationship (comments are welcomed):
I will use the analogy of looking for job in these various relationship stages...just to make it less complicated? =P

1. Friendship: you can go on one-two- or three one on one date with a person if you want to get to know the person more (in general to know the character of a person). - this probably won't be necessary if you hang around in the same circle of friends......

In this stage.........girls.....please be as genuine as possible in imitating Christ or women of the Bible, develop Godly character. wait patiently.
example: Rebekah (Genesis 24:18-21): 1) be generous, 2) be thoughtful, 3) be servant-like.
Ruth- be hard working, be diligent.

Guys: also, please be as genuine as possible imitating Christ.
Character to develop: hardworking, diligent, be initiative (Romans 5:8)
Rules for guys: please always pay- never go on a dutch date (it teaches you about giving)

Fearing God & relationship with God is a must in the individual life.

:: same like with looking for job, guys are basicly looking for the job you want (fits your need, and what you want) before you are applying for one.

2. Dating (or being in a relationship): This is a part when guys take initiative to commit in a exclusive relationship with a woman. In this time, the guy decides whether he likes a character that the women has and would like to know the girl more. In this stage, you adjust to one another.
:: same like with applying for job - like in long job interview process, guys are basicly be in their best behavior while being yourself- always be yourself, but be wise (wise is good character knowing where and how to response & act to certain circumstances), but also trying to impress the girl, seeing whether you and and the girl is a good fit, but also wooing the girl that by the time you want the girl to be your wife, she would say "yes"
Guys.......imagine of how you would apply for the very best job you wanted - be discerning whether the girl has the good wife or mother quality while developing your skills in being Godly husband & father.
Girls.......never settle for less than God's best- see whether he will be good husband, good father, and can provide you with Spiritual guidance focusing on Christ, be a good, generous financial and emotional provider for the family- loving and caring.


3. Engaged: Getting engaged meaning that you put a mark or acknowledgment to family and public that both of you are ready to think about marriage. Time in between engagement and
marriage are used for marriage counseling. This is getting serious, the only time you can back out if you strongly think God is not pleased with your relationship.
Consider both families' values and expectations, whether you can honor your spouse-to-be's parents & siblings, consider going to same church (pick the church you want to go to). Time to plan ahead- plan for marriage, plan for your wedding date, plan for your financial together- etc etc. Also, during this time, the couple priority will shift. The fiances should be a priority more than friends and family....... or at least try adjusting this priority...
Be very honest and open at this time.

4. Marriage: Have a long lasting happily ever-after love :)
Strive for passion, commitment, and intimacy all the time.
Always put God first in your marriage and God will take care of your relationship with one another. Devote time in praying together.

Highly recommended resources:
http://www.marshillchurch.org/media/religionsaves/dating
http://www.amazon.com/Saving-Your-Marriage-Before-Starts/dp/0310492408
http://www.amazon.com/Before-Plan-Your-Wedding-Plan-Marriage/dp/1416543546

I don't think any of the stages will be easy.....but, with God- all things are possible^^
One friend of mine said the key to a successful marriage is: "give, give, give, give...then take" - give more than what you receive.