GoodRx

 I started my first series of 6 rounds BCG yesterday. It went well- praise the Lord. 
The treatment was at 10am, I was able to "void/pee" at 12pm and then start the flushing and bleaching for the next 4 hours.
Peeing and bleaching every 15 minutes was quite exhausting, but thank God I was able to rest a bit at night. Thankful for Jack to help with Tiara and letting me rest the whole day, even a slight massage at night since I have backache.

Another praise report is that for my medicine prescription, Detrol LA/Tolterodine. Walgreens called me last week and told me that it will cost $269 out of pocket for my prescription. I googled this morning and found out that Bartell would have it for cheaper. Then my sister in law mentioned about goodrx. 

GoodRx listed the medicine at $30 at Bartell. That's $230 savings! Praise God!

Please continue to pray for next BCG appointments:
1/24 9:30am
2/1 9:30am
2/10 9:30am
2/17 9am
2/24 9:30am

1 down and 5 to go! Glory to God!

Desert Song - Hillsong Worship

 On Monday, 12/12/22 I had cystoscopy to check whether the BCG Immunotherapies have killed all the cancer cells in me. 

We saw some red patches and hoping it was just inflammation.
The doctor happened to have cancellation for surgery the next day, Tuesday the 12/13/22 - so I went in for another TURBT (biopsy surgery)

Upon TURBT, I think doctor found more patches with the blue light and suspected that the cancer is still there. 

Yesterday, 12/15/22, I finally received the pathology that confirmed, indeed the high grade cancer is still there - less invasive than the original (Ta stage)

I was very discouraged, disappointed and sad. I wanted to just crawl in the bed, hide under the blanket and do nothing as I am not looking forward to the 6 series of immunotherapy that I will need to go through again in January/February.

I also did not want to go to my prayer meeting yesterday- but I went anyways. Thank God that I went. During the worship - God reminded me of this Desert Song by Hillsong (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HUISd7LSxAQ)

All of my life in every season
You are still God
I have a reason to sing
I have a reason to worship

I did not experience the miracle that I anticipated- but God is still God that loves me, cares for me, the Immanuel - I have a reason to praise, to sing and to worship Him. He deserves it all.

My biggest worry was that I was not able to stand another 6 immunotheraphies - but this morning, God reminded me Psalm 29:11 "The LORD will give strength unto his people; The LORD will bless his people with peace."

He will sustain me and uphold me as I go through the fiery trials. I pray that just as Daniel, Sadrakh, Mesakh and Abednego did not burn as God's angels with them - I will also experience His miraculous power and peace as I go through the next immunotheraphies.

Psalm 60:11

 Psalm 60:11 "Give us aid against the enemy, for human help is worthless."

Truly, only God in His sovereignty saves and heals.

I seek acupuncture help couple weeks back and she looked at my tongue and said "your body is cold - what do you eat?" I said "a lot of vegetables, salad and juice" She said "no more raw food and juice" 
I was torn coming out of the appointment. Western and Eastern medicine seems to contradict each other, and I do not know what is good.

This incident actually reminds me that God is our only source of Hope and Strength.

I realized that the prayers during our meal times matter. I used to pray quickly just to thank God for the food. Now, I realized, what a blessing it was to be able to eat and not worry whether it will "feed" my cancer. Praying that God will bless each meals to bring healthy cells and kill those cancer cells.

Please continue to pray for Godly wisdom on Doctor Dash that will consult and check on me in Nov and December. 

I need You, God, come to my rescue.

First Series of 6 BCG Immunotherapies Done

 Last Thursday the 27th, I got my #6 instillations of BCG Immunotherapy, which is the last one for this series. I was hit with much fatigue few days before the instillations and just felt very heavy the day off.

While praise God, there is no new side effect symptoms, my emotions are all over the place.

There is a high/extreme gladness that I get 3 months break before perhaps the next maintenance series.

There is anxiety of the treatment result - which I will find out in cystoscopy on December 12th.

I am also scared of the next BCG series and the side effects, alongside with some pains that I currently have whether it is another health issues/cancer in other parts of my bodies.

But, I speak the name of Jesus over fear and all anxiety. There is power in the Name of Jesus. The Name that Heals (Jehovah Rapha). The Name that holds my victory and future.

These 6 BCG Treatments were not easy for me. There were times that my urethra hurts so much that I need to massage it all the time and put heating pads on it. Most days I wear adult diapers as I have urinary urgency and unpredictable frequency due to the spasms. 

Few things that I am thankful of what God is teaching me throughout this situation:

- Empathy: I used to not be able to relate with others who is in pain/depression as I never experienced it, but now, I can cry with them, pray for them and learn my best to support/help them in their situations.

- Patience: I learn to be patient as I now realize that many people have their own struggles that I might not be able to see. 

- The hunger for God's words: I pray and meditate on God's words as much as I can as I need Them. I need the Words to strengthen me, to get through the tough times, to soak in His presence.

- The power of God's people's prayers: Many friends have prayed and believing that God healed me. One of the lady in my prayer group shared that in the Bible, the quadriplegic was healed because his 4 friends brought him to Jesus. I have many friends who knock on the door of Heaven for my healing and believing alongside me that Jesus has the power to heal me.

- Thankful: While many times, I wish that God will take the pain away, I am thankful that I have this bonus time - I get to spend time with family and friends. I get to finish treatments while it was in nice weather. Now, I get to be home, sit with my warm water and enjoy the colorful Fall trees.

"I will praise you, Lord, among the nations; I will sing of you among the peoples. For great is Your love, reaching to the heavens; Your faithfulness reaches to the skies. Be exalted, O God, above the heavens; let Your glory be over all the earth." Psalm 57: 9-11

Living in Bonus Time

 One of the hopeful night last weekend was also a zoom meeting among cancer patients and survivors hosted by the Charisma Church. 

The main speaker was Dr. Alec Hill - an SPU professor, cancer survivors and authors of multiple books- one of the book is "Living in Bonus Time" (https://www.amazon.com/Living-Bonus-Time-Surviving-Finding/dp/0830845941)

There were 6 of us in the zoom meetings and 4 of the people were cancer survivors- only me and another person, Jeffrey, were still in this cancer fighting journey.

It was very encouraging to see these cancer survivors to serve the Lord and living normally after their battle with cancer.

There is light at the end of the tunnel.

To God be the Glory. 

God is with me - Immanuel

 This morning, a lady from my prayer group, Soo sent me a text "He is with you, Theresia"
I am very blessed to have multiple sisters praying and caring over me this morning.

As I walked into the hospital for my #3 BCG instillation, the nurse that greeted me was different than my previous 2 instillation. My anxiety raises as I feel that I don't know whether she is an experienced nurse or not. 

The nurse, Leah, was very calm and attentive to me. I mentioned to her that I am nervous as my #2 one had a bad side effect on me. I said "I am nervous but I know God got me". She said "I believe God is with you." Then I proceeded to say " I pray Psalm 91 over myself" and she said "I prayed Psalm 91 over all my patients this morning too"

I then just cried. I was overwhelmed with the evidence of God's goodness and His tender mercies. I do not deserve Him but He knows and He cares for me.

The nurse, Leah, said that it is not a coincidence that she is my nurse today. She doesn't normally do BCG treatment but today she did and she secured the smallest catheter for me and she released the medicine slowly so that my bladder is not in shock.

God loves me so much and I am blessed.

Praying for nurse Leah that she can assist me again next time and I pray blessings over her days and her family.

To God be The Glory.

He is Immanuel.

Audacious Ask

 Yesterday, at Westgate Chapel, we were encouraged to ask for MORE. Bigger and audacious ask for our God to move. We asked for 1 billion soul throughout the nation that Hell will be empty as people all joining God in Heaven.

It made me thought of Tiara asking Jack this past Sunday during her relay race. She asked her dad if he could buy ice cream for her entire team. That was an audacious ask. I told Jack, "wow, it's amazing that she dares to ask you that and think that you would do it" 
Jack didn't. But, it made me think of my Heavenly Father.

I am encouraged to ask boldly. Jesus, please restore anything that this immunotherapy has taken away from me. The pain and urinary frequency- Jesus, You can heal me. Praying that cancer will go away miraculously and that bladder and urethra will stop acting up. Praying for wisdom for the doctor to give his best recommendation.

"If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts. to your children, how much more will your Father who. is in heaven give good things to those who ask Him!" Matthew 7:11

Praying Psalm 91:14-16
The Lord says, “I will rescue those who love Me.  I will protect those who trust in My Name. When they call on me, I will answer;I will be with them in trouble. I will rescue and honor them. I will reward them with a long life and give them My salvation.

A Long Life and His salvation