Fighting Fear and Discouragement with God's words and worship

 My 2nd TURBT Surgery on 08/02/22 was hard. Surgeon mentioned that he saw more areas that are cancerous. Pathological report confirmed the 1st diagnosis that I have multiple areas of CIS (carcinoma in situ) - which is the aggressive bladder cancer, but thankfully it is not muscle invasive.

On top of the recovery from the surgery- I was bleeding and passed blood clot that blocked my ability to pee. I had to go to ER on 08/03/22 morning and was admitted to the hospital. The surgeon need to perform another surgery to stop the bleed (re-cauterized) and clean the clots.

I lost lots of blood. My hemoglobin was at 6 (standard rage 11.5-15.5) and my hematocrit 18% (std range 36-45%) The urologist suggested blood transfusion but I refused since I really just want to go home to see Tiara as well as I want to limit my exposure to any complications.

Although, I cannot resist worrying if I do not have enough blood cell in my immune system, I was afraid that my cancer cell would grow even faster.

I was very discouraged. I feel defeated.


Thankful for friends who encouraged me in the Lord. Vitria sent me this youtube link that was able to lift my Spirit up: 
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=AvTtWbah4VE

Psalm 38: 21-22  "Lord, do not forsake me; do not be far from me, my God Come quickly to help me,my Lord and my Savior."

I appreciate all your texts, prayers, and verses that reminds me to draw strength from God during this hard time. Those prayers, texts and verses are what I need to refocus myself to God's miraculous ability, His goodness and His faithfulness.

I am also very thankful for friends that blessed us with food and in person prayers. I pray for God's blessings upon your family!

Some rainbows during this cloudy days include: 1) My FMLA is approved by WA State so that I do not have to worry about using work's PTO. 2) we no longer need to travel to Texas for our Texas house ordeal lawsuit where the sellers and their agents was fraudulent and misrepresented the listing that we purchase it for. We were able to settle it out of court even though it is not for much but enough to take this stressor out of our lives. We are grateful for God's provisions and hands upon these.