Conversation with myself

 

 I have been having TONS of conversation with myself.

"Oh, thank God, the cancer is found in early stages"

"But, it is the beast/aggressive ones"

"God got this"

"Well, I don't know if I'll be there to see Tiara graduates middle/high school"
"This is fine, worse to worse, I will lose my bladder"

"I am only going to be 40 next year and I will be without my bladder?"


All in all, I am encouraged in the Word of God:

Romans 5:3-5:
3 Not only so, but we[a] also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4 perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5 And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.

I asked the oncologist yesterday of what can potentially caused this cancer since I do not smoke. He said "Bad luck?!" 
I believe that God allows some sufferings to purify and bring us closer to Him.

Paul has his thorn on his flesh. Jonah lost everything and got bad disease. 

John 9: 2-3
2 And his disciples asked him, “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?” 3 Jesus answered, “It was not that this man sinned, or his parents, but that the works of God might be displayed in him."

I pray that the works of God might be displayed in me.